This is about me trying to find a place where I’m really satisfied. Satisfied about my life, about my work, about where I am, about my responsibilities, about the future, and about the things I do.

I’m not happy where I am right now. And I’m not quite sure how to solve my problem. The worst part is, nobody else can. All I knew was that I had to do something about it, and so I made a decision, back in March.

I suppose this feeling of loss is normal, otherwise there wouldn’t be a need for career counseling. But I also think career counseling is 90% motivation. So what I’ve really been struggling with isn’t about careers, but believing hard about what I want in life.

The first thing I told myself was that people are wrong. They’re wrong about career choices. They’re wrong about how to make money. They’re wrong about how to stay happy. They’re wrong about everything.

I did that just to prove to myself that nobody could give me advice worth acting upon. I heard things like, “anywhere is better than here”, “I’m sure you’ll get it”, “I’m sure you’ll make it”, “make sure you consider everything”.

Those things I felt was good advice, I put into practice. The rest, I threw away.

I couldn’t deal with all the details at once. Some people make the transition so complex that most don’t dare to try. So I threw it all out of the window.

Have I started packing? No.

Have I submitted all my visa forms? No.

Have I got accomodation all prepared? Only for the initial months.

Has my wife got a job yet? No.

When are you flying off? In about a month.

Sounds crazy? Maybe it is.

If you’re faced with a similar situation, it would likely look a lot different. And that’s the point – everyone has their own way of doing things. There are limitations, processes, rules that apply, but by-and-large some people get around it, find their own ways, or do what they need to do to get the job done.

I don’t have guarantees. But nobody else does either. I just take take a deep breath and choose my battles wisely.

A month ago, I had mood swings and bouts of depression. I felt I was a walking contradiction.

I worried that applying to a top 10 school in the UK would be almost impossible, and my CGPA didn’t meet their requirements. That led to some delays, a phone interview, and my undergrad professor having to write a comprehensive report on me.

Still, I didn’t want to apply to other universities that were less stringent. I really wanted to get into UCL. When I finally got accepted, I was thankful, but not ecstatic. There’s more to come, I thought to myself.

I feel that I’m betting my whole life to do this. And in a way, I feel this is only way it can be done. I don’t know if I’ll end up completely burned out with nothing left but the resignation that dreams only exist in books.

But that’s what people fear. And people are wrong.

Resources:

• You’ll Be Happier When You Stop Worrying So Much About How Everything Will Turn Out

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