The Kelisa was easy to sell, but I didn’t get my way with pricing. There were hundreds of other Kelisas waiting to be picked up. I decided to settle for a quick deal, instead of haggling over price. This was despite knowing that I would be receiving a dozen more calls over the next few days about the car.

The Alfa was different. There were a very unique set of potential buyers. Most of them were Alfa owners previously. To other buyers, I had to explain the car to them, and describe its “Alfa-ness”. The person who ended up buying it was someone who previously owned an Italian car, understood its dynamics, and set his heart on getting one. It was about waiting for the right candidate. I didn’t have to flinch on price very much.

Job searching is very often like this. I want to move from a very common job role as a software programmer to a very niche role as a usability engineer. For me to get a job as a programmer is dead simple, but I probably won’t get my way with salary or benefits. As I set my sights towards becoming a usability engineer, I know that what I’m getting into will only attract certain hiring companies, with work conditions that are suitable for the role. The only issue is preparing myself, and waiting for that opportunity.

Without divulging too much information, that opportunity came knocking on my door recently. And in a place where no one hires usability workers, my profile stuck out a mile high.

My point is this, for everything you’re trying to sell – your employability, your car, your idea… whatever – there’s a market. And there’s a strategy for that sale to take place. You just need to position yourself in the right way, in order to communicate the value of the sale.

The point I didn’t make, however, is when you’re stuck in the Dip – the point between passion and pop, as described by Seth Godin. If you know you’re in the Dip, you have two options – find your way up, or find your way out. The hard part is finding out if you’re in the Dip or not.

While I was attempting to sell both cars, I wasn’t sure if I was in the Dip. I wasn’t quite happy that I quit really soon about the Kelisa. I quit fast and settled for a price I wasn’t that comfortable with. But now I’m glad I did. I wasn’t willing to take the hassle to deal with all the other buyers who were looking for quick wins. It wasn’t going to be worth it. So I quit, and went with the first buyer.

But for the Alfa, I didn’t quit. I held on to my price, because I knew it was a good price, and that someone out there was willing to appreciate the car at that value.

Nobody’s going to remember that I sold the Kelisa for the price I did. But everyone will remember the great deal I got on the sale of the Alfa. I get to keep my story. I managed to navigate both of my dips.

Navigating your own dips are very important to achieving your goals.

How well are you navigating yours?

They’re not.

Marriage counseling is like psychographic and psychometric tests that everyone seems to get so addicted about. It can be really fun and really serious at the same time. It can be really sexy because it allows the couple to have an honest look at each other and be open about themselves for once.

There are many types of pre-marital counseling, and I have no idea what they’re all like. In my session, we both went through the Taylor Johnson psychometric tests. I was already familiar with my Myers-Briggs type, and I was keen on understanding my wife’s profile. Understanding my partner is really sexy and it’s great to talk about our differences and similarities over and over again. It’s one of those things my wife and I talk about a lot.

Of course, if one or both parties had lots of things to hide, that might be the end of the relationship altogether – but better earlier than never. That doesn’t mean you have to reveal everything to each other, but sometimes sneaky things happen – like learning she never really wanted to have children in the first place… stuff like that.

We did discuss 5-year and 10-year plans about our potential marriage. We even discussed careers, family, finances, friends, and the lot. Having a 3rd party there (our cell pastor) really helped. It doesn’t always have to be someone elder/wiser who knows you. It could be a certified counselor, and I know folks who make a living doing that and they’re really good at it.

We talked about how I wanted a fulfilling career, and that we both sort of wanted children in 5 years, and that I might want to further my education. We also discussed my propensity to be glued to the computer, and her inability to determine a goal in life. We discussed our parents, and how both families might get along. We discussed money. We discussed having a place of our own.

It’s funny, but these are issues we’re still discussing today, so I’m glad we started then!

This is our 3rd year of marriage, and we’ve been through good and bad times – but I think having the sessions really helped a bunch. It helped cement our ideals in one place, and everything else has been about going back to that and being honest with ourselves.

Those few short sessions helped shape everything – careers, relationships, aspirations, health. You’ll need it when you get there.

Resources:

• Is Premarital Counseling or Education for You?
• Pre-Marital Counseling 101
• Frequently Asked Questions about the PREPARE/ENRICH Program