Today’s career is full of anomalies and subject to one’s own definition of a right set of choices. Compound that with the gap between social media and have-nots, it’s no wonder there’s so much lost in transition.
I would admit it feels really frustrating to be in the Dip.
So here’s the thing about mentoring. I’ve read a lot about how necessary they are. And to be honest, I’m not sure if I have one. Which means I’ve pulled myself ahead just this far, with just enough help from some people.
Only two or three people come to mind. The first is Jian, my ex-colleague and then team leader for a project that sent me to Bangkok for three weeks. We got along very well and we’re still close friends to today.
Every major decision I made in my career went through Jian, who’s a little more senior than me. He provided advice where necessary and listened when I talked. I felt that having someone who listens helps a lot. Not many people will give you time like that.
The other person is my cell pastor, Koon Hee. He provided me a lot of support and insight into the necessary things in life – marriage, finances, goals, promotions, etc. He didn’t have to understand the work I was doing. This is why career advice applies to almost any kind of job.
His advice was a lot more important than what bosses will talk to you about – the finer things in life. Careers are a reflection of a person’s life, and that life is filled with other things that make it complete. This is why joining a good church helps.
The last person is Charles, an ex-colleague who shares similar values, and strangely, we discovered each other while blogging. I found out that he’s been so much ahead of the game than I have, and yet… the issues we’re both working through still remain the same. Finances, relationships, careers, goals, etc. Of course, he has a lot more “war stories” than I have, and that’s what I admire in him – he walks the talk.
Authenticity is a hard game to play, and nobody plays to win. It’s about achieving dreams, and the stories we gain from it. It’s so hard that only a select few play it, but those who do live very interesting lives that are second to none.
Charles is that sort of person. He’s not a pop star. He’s not on the front page news. He’s not a multi-billion dollar CEO. But he’s bigger than life, to me at least, and I can speak to him any time of the day. That’s real, and precious, in a way.
Good mentors aren’t bought. They’re found. Relationships like these need investment, as they’re real people. As real as you are. In order to find them, you have to communicate yourself as a brand. In fact, you won’t need so much to find them, as they’ll find you. All you have to do is to continue pushing the boundaries of life, and making yourself available to people. You’ll never know who might find you something worthy of an investment.
Resources:
- The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)
- Have respect for those who came before…
- The Value of Naturally Developed Mentorship
- Job hunt tip: The mentor matters more than the company
- Six Habits of Highly Effective Mentees
- You need a mentor now; here’s how to get one
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