Rather than taking pot-shots at one side of the fence, I’ll share a bit of my experiences transitioning from KL to London.
I’d like to state that my objective was for career progression and a change in environment. As a previous employee with a UK company, I had already gotten a taste of London through several business trips. The rain and gray skies don’t bother me that much, since we get a lot of that back home. I prefer the weather here, and that makes a big difference in decision making.
Affordable living depends on a lot of things
As you would expect, London is a very expensive city. But a lot of people stop there. Why is it expensive? What exactly is expensive about it? Does that mean I have to be a rich guy to survive?
Well, it depends. Take a look on the other side. There has been a growing concern about rising food prices in KL. A plate of mee goreng will probably cost you RM3.50 to 4, depending on where you are. It’s not a whole lot, but it’s a psychological effect that ngaws at you, time and again. Simply because salaries aren’t increasing. I believe it is the perception of the value you get out of the entire work-life experience. Everyone seems to be saying the same time – KL is getting more expensive every day.
London is expensive because the £2 you spend on your latte can go to saving up for an ipod touch, which will cost 50 times more. To me, that’s like constantly choosing between having food and having a cool gadget. Most of the time, people choose food. And people drink a lot here. Beers go from £2 to £5? Stop drinking beer a few dozen times and you’ll be able to afford a branded portable stereo.
Lifestyle matters
I think that’s the hardest thing about London, because I come from a country where food is taken for granted.
Of course, not everyone compares London like that. If you compare it to a lot of European cities, well… things start looking more obvious. In Denmark, shops close really early. 5.30pm on weekdays, 1pm on Saturdays. Don’t even think about Sundays. It’s quite the same story in Germany, and many other European countries. The UK is part of the EU, but it’s got a slightly different culture. Maybe you can call it an island mentality. I don’t know.
If you think about it, if you don’t have any place to spend your money, you’ll save more. It’s not easy to do that when London is so vibrant and everyone meets at a pub or celebrates birthdays at posh restaurants.
It’s funny that in KL, you have that too – eating out is very, very common. Especially with people in their 20s to 30s. I think my parents did a wise thing to cook at home a lot. But for me, I was always eating out. That used to eat into the wallet a lot.
Now, I cook a fair bit more. At least 50% more, I’d like to think. Sometimes less, sometimes more. I do it partly out of necessity. And I do it partly because I don’t get home-cooked food.
Work culture
People here address each other by their first names. They don’t call their professors “sir” or “miss”. They don’t call their bosses “Mr. Chan” or “Mrs. Smith”. People work because they can do the work, it’s okay, as long as it doesn’t invalidate their preferences and self-esteem.
I think that a lot of Malaysians are more forgiving, in the sense of getting work done and doing what the boss wants. But it works the other way too – it’s quite easy to assume the boss knows what to do, and it’s easy for the boss to dictate the work.
But here, it’s kind of a peer thing, almost. It’s not quite polar opposites, but there’s a bit more transparency. It wasn’t always like that, though. And there tend to be a lot more small companies who can get good projects. And back home… well… a lot of big projects are awarded based on preferential relationships.
But it’s not bad either way. It’s just two different cultures.
Look and feel of a city
For some reason, the Brits are big into museums and maintaining the charm of a neighborhood. Back in Malaysia there are numerous streets that have replaced so many old ones, I can’t quite remember what it was like 20 years ago. Street names being changed and all.
Here, everything needs to go through a very long process to get approval. Even if Starbucks wants to put their seats outside, they have to put up a sign telling people that they can contest that if they wanted. There are pros and cons. If you live in the neighborhood and don’t want Starbucks cluttering the sidewalk, you can contest that and it’ll probably work.
Culture in the London is a lot more diverse and complex. There are over 7 million people living in the city. There’s a lot happening. It’s quite hard to get bored of this place.
KL feels really cosy in comparison to London. Even if it felt like a lifetime driving from my house to my aunt’s place in Melawati, it’s nothing compared to the M25.
If you’re coming to London, plan to stay at least a week. There’s lots to see and do. And if you’re visiting KL, make sure you plan your journey around food stops. I personally love both cities, but I’m liking London a lot right now.
My wife and I has our UK visas approved a few days ago. Our first application was rejected, due to misunderstanding the application requirements. Although we’re happy that this challenge is over, there are lots more to come. The cost to us was wasted time, and RM1328, and we were really starting to get extremely anxious about our possibilities.
This is a reality of making change happen.
Right now, there’s tons of stuff lying around the house waiting to be sorted into boxes for storage. We’ve got some farewells scheduled for the week ahead, and our tickets paid. I’ve made connections with old friends in London, and asked for tips on employment, and begun applying for jobs for my wife. I don’t like too much to do, but I have to get through it somehow.
Also, unemployment is increasing in the UK, particularly in London. This isn’t good news. So far, none of the jobs we’ve applied for have been positive. But at the same time, we’ve been partly selective as well. There’s lots more room to go. We haven’t used headhunters, applied for temp jobs, or skimped on our salary requirements.
Everytime I’m overwhelmed by all the logistical execution I hate to do, I’m reminded by how comfortable I could be if I didn’t wrestle so much with my career demands. But I know deep inside, I will never have this chance again. Not a chance to succeed, but a chance to try what I felt was the right thing to do at a point in my life.
For others, it could mean getting married, having yet another child, going into the army, or quitting your job.
I have an advantage in that I don’t listen to other people very well. So I throw away a lot of negative comments, and keep the good ones to myself. I also have a wife who’s supportive of my decision. I assume it could be worse.
Here are my navigational compasses that have kept me sane over the last few months:
One Step at a Time
Ellen Macarthur, one of the fastest people to sail around the world, swears on preparing for how much of yourself to expend to work through repeated circumstances of tension again and again over a long period of time. She circumnavigates rough seas, where anything can happen at any time.
My circumstances are hardly a match to hers, but it helps me realize that doing big things isn’t the way to go forward. Big things are only a signal of the destination, and not the journey. What goes into the journey are little things you have to do, most of which are annoying, frustrating, and seemingly unnecessary. But these are things you have to do. I am more prepared now to waste and burn energy than I was a few months ago.
It is absolutely necessary to go through stuff like getting an application form filled up right, spending hours waiting to get my car sold, closing bank accounts, applying for jobs, and so on. It sounds easy but nobody likes to do these things.
Life Stories are Filled with People
One of my strategies in getting ahead in life is in allowing people to “talk” me through phases in life. What I do is get in touch with people who have a specific direction, or are at a certain place in life I want to be. I make an effort to talk to them casually, and usually this is all I ever do, apart from occasional questions for tips and advice. I do this over longer periods, like months or years.
This helps me form real relationships with people who are “there”. Once I’m there, I know I’ll have people I can talk to. It’s like a story, where I meet people at different points in my life, and sometimes we meet again in the future. Each time I recall a part of my life, it’s filled with people and easy to remember. Facebook helps, too.
This is in contrast to making a decision and then making friends where I end up. Sometimes if you take a backseat in life, you end up hanging out with other people who are taking a backseat in life. I just choose not to be there.
Things that can’t be Explained often Stay that Way
I had dinner last night with my paternal uncle, who remarked that this is a part of life we all have to go through, if we really want to get “somewhere” in life. He stopped there, as though it was something the both of us understood. He’s past 50, and I’m close to 30 – and we’ve both had different lives to live.
Sometimes life needs to stay unexplained like that. We stopped talking about what it takes to survive, whether it’s really necessary for me to go back to school, and what if I considered alternatives. We’ve both come to an agreement that we’re looking at life in the eye now. It’s that “thing” that we all have to go through, to achieve our dreams (or whatever it is).
I stopped telling myself reasons why I should or shouldn’t go. I stopped reading too much motivational and practical material. Right now, it’s just learning what I can and making the best of it, in my own way. And a lot of it can’t be explained. You just have to make a decision, and execute, pick up where you fail, and make amends.
“You concentrate on solving your problems or keeping the boat safe or making sure you take the best route through the storm so you don’t get caught in the worst part of it and you just concentrate on coming out the other side,.” – Ellen MacArthur
