January 9th, 2010 §
One increasing concern I have about careers is the importance of understanding how technological, social and political movements affect job markets in different places around the globe. It’s extremely messy, so bear with me as I try to explain myself.
The myth of ‘Us vs. Them’
The point I’m trying to make is that the concept of an “Us vs. Them” is becoming increasingly outdated – not just from a global job market perspective, but from a career perspective as well. As we become more aware of this, we will begin to exchange our services more effectively, and navigate our careers in more dimensions than before – across cultures, social levels, languages, skills and geographical spaces.
However, there are huge risks in making the transition from a conventional job mindset to a more open, radical global job mindset. This could mean shifting from one culture to another, changing the way we communicate, adapting our products or services, and so on. But it is inevitable – the world is becoming increasingly advanced, and it requires a lot of expertise, collaboration and innovation to get there. But it can only do so if the solutions are applied in its proper context.
I’ll try to illustrate this from my own work experience.
Absorbing culture in the workplace
In October 2001, I got a job as an undergraduate research assistant at the University of Kansas’ technology research arm, and they got me programming Java interfaces for a NASA-funded space project. I was a newbie, but they made sure I stuck to the best practices and I learnt a ton from that. It was partly the culture, process, and project opportunity that I absorbed from the job. I took this with me to my next job after I graduated and returned home to Malaysia, after having no luck finding a job in the US at the height of the dot-com bust.
Cultural differences can create opportunities, and take them away
It was unfortunate that my new Malaysian job resembled primordial soup in comparison with the NASA project, with very primitive software practices, spaghetti code and other monstrosities (a work practice difference). It was also my first job in a completely new culture as almost all of my colleagues spoke in fluent Chinese rather than English (a language/cultural difference). This caused considerable tension that I was mostly assigned to projects where I worked by myself – but this proved to be somewhat profitable as I was capable of solely implementing entire systems from the database to the interface, due to expertise I gained from my previous work experience.
I left after 2.5 years, after realizing there was a corporate ceiling above me. The experience I gained developing bespoke, well-designed web applications was well-received by the next company who hired me, which was more diverse in their staffing. This was also reflected in their products, as cultural compatibility was less of a concern, allowing them to handpick developers that were truly proficient in their technical trade. Thus, the company culture mostly revolved around technology itself, and it was a very positive atmosphere to work in. This was an example of cultural diversity resulting in a positive work culture.
At this point, I was experiencing how culture made a difference to my opportunities and work perspectives in the two different companies, but it was only in my next job that I felt I needed to seek a better cultural fit in my career progression.
Seeking cultural fit for career reasons
Due to an unfortunate legal battle in the “diverse” company, it downsized and I joined a multinational telecoms company for my next job. It was here that I took part in projects that spanned multiple countries like the UK, France, Netherlands, Malaysia, India and Singapore – becoming sensitive to how damaging misconceptions about another person’s culture can be. I was also increasingly frustrated and confused when I found it hard to relate more Western ideas about innovation and design to my Malaysian colleagues. And as more people misunderstood me, I felt increasingly out-of-place and isolated.
Leaving my home country of Malaysia and coming to London to pursue a Masters in Human-Computer Interaction was an attempt to find a “career common ground” – and this is the point I want to stress: I believe that the boundaries that used to mark “Us vs. Them” are dissolving because job seekers everywhere are becoming more specific about their career goals, and because of this they may journey much farther out of their comfort zones (culture, family, language, etc.) to find a right match. It may not necessarily lead one to move from one country/state to another, but the movement of employees seeking “cultural fit” in their careers is already happening.
Some of us are taught to accept whatever opportunities that are presented to us, and not to be overly idealistic about our goals. But I believe that it’s in everyone’s hearts to serve in the areas they fit in best. I feel that as we move deeper into the 21st century, there will be an increase of savvy job seekers who are willing to sacrifice their previous experiences for new ones – and in so doing create new movements in job industries everywhere.
December 19th, 2009 §
I haven’t been blogging for awhile, and here’s why – I’ve had a go at living a normal life. I checked my twitter messages a lot less, unsubscribed to Wired’s Top Stories and a whole bunch of other popular feeds, and instead I just… “did stuff”. I spent a bit more time cooking at home, dining out at different places around London, devoting more focused time to my day job, getting through my large stash of ebooks and audiobooks and listening to more music through some really amazing earphones I bought a few weeks ago.
Good life, slower life
I’m quite happy about the progress. Comparatively, there’s a lot more junk on the internet, and being able to consume quality experiences in a much longer duration (preparing a meal, reading a book, going out for dinner with my wife) has been more satisfying to say the least.
One thing that bugs me is the sheer amount of experiences out there I feel I ought to try. And it’s a bit scary – because it feels a bit unsafe, a bit edgy… something that demands a bit more commitment and resources than clicking buttons all day. Because I know I can read the best tutorial about designing a chair and it won’t come close to what it’s really like to build a chair (just as an example).
Today I attempted to cook fried rice again – a dish I’ve cooked countless times, but have never perfected. And although it tasted a little better, it wasn’t good enough. And, it seems I could spend more time perfecting a good fried rice, or I could go learn to cook something else… but again that’s like another lesson all over again.
More risks, more planning
The thing is – I’m at the point in my life where I am calculating more than I am taking risks. I don’t want each attempt to be wasted. Not all risks that are taken will lead to learning and success. Idiots do exist, and I don’t want to end up being one.
I’m shifting my focus away from the younger generation, a generation I learnt a lot from in previous years. Some things in life don’t change, and there’s a reason why history repeats itself. In a single lifetime, I believe it is possible to learn from our past, and make a difference a day at a time towards a better future – my future.
In a sense, I’m going to stop looking to the future in order to fix my past.
August 5th, 2009 §
My wife and I used to live in a fairly large apartment overlooking a lake. It had a huge hall, a full kitchen, 3 sizable bedrooms, and a decent store room. By Malaysian standards, this was considered to be somewhat of a luxury for someone at my age, but at the same time – it was owned by my parents who willingly let us live there and have us pay them back whenever we had the means.
It was comfortable, no doubt, but it was hard to say that it was home. The hall was quite empty because we couldn’t afford to furnish it. We didn’t use the swimming pool and gym as much as we’d like. The only thing I really miss about it is the convenient parking space, which offered shelter from the rain. It was hard to say we could afford a place like this.
Outward looks can be deceptive
Now, we’re in London, in a small rented studio about a third the size of the previous apartment, and we both feel more at home here. Maybe it’s because we both made the decision to live here on our own, and that we’re both paying for the rental of the place, and we’ve still got a bit of room to breathe in terms of spending.
I find that I do more homey things, like cook meals at home, and vacuum the floor, and rearrange the furniture, and decorate the place. I feel, for once, that I am in control of my living situation, and that’s quite a breath of fresh air.
Satisfaction comes from inside you
I think that all of us yearn for a place to belong, somewhere along our adulthood. There’s something about enjoying the fruits of our labor, and a home is quite often the place that one does that. Somehow, with the apartment my parents provided us, it felt a bit like a short cut, and somehow that didn’t sit right with me.
The reason I’m saying this is because I’m constantly re-evaluating my life. What is it that truly makes me satisfied? With consumerism often choking out what’s important to us, it’s good to step back and count our blessings. No, we might not be at the top of the game, in the eyes of someone else – but inside us is what really matters – it’s really not faking it, and it doesn’t go away.
December 8th, 2008 §
I admit – I feel a bit lost being a full-time student, after being in employment for the last 6 years. I no longer have paid projects to work on, a company vision to fulfil, or quarterly performance reviews. At the same time, I don’t have to worry about promotion or about getting a bonus. I am slowly starting to forget all the employee jargon I got so used to like ‘action points’ and ‘agendas’ (I thought really hard to come up with these as well).
More so, I feel lost about this blog. How can I assume to have any advice about work, when I don’t even have a regular job?
Job responsibilities are like scout badges you don’t get in graduate school
All my working friends have very fixed schedules – I understand, because the corporate world lives between 9 to 5. It’s very different executing work in practice than it seems in books. There is constant pressure for employees to perform and meet deadlines – a whole system depends on this. If I screw up my assignments, no one else bears the pain (except maybe those who have put their faith in me).
By not being a part of this pattern of work makes me feel like I’m no longer a part of who I used to represent – the workplace, practitioners, and employees. It’s as though job responsibility acts as a “qualifier” for status – the more responsibilities you have, the better you look in other people’s books.
There are almost no scout badges in graduate school. Previous working experience does blur that line a bit, but there’s almost no politics. To some people, that sounds utopian. But politics is real and unavoidable, and we don’t cover this in class.
The gap between academia and the workplace
I also find that there’s a wide gap between academia and the workplace. Ideally, we want this gap to be bridged well so that we can put into practice the stuff that’s learnt and researched. But this is not always the case.
Company goals and academic goals are two very different things, even though they do contribute to each other at times. This conflict makes it hard for students to compare between what’s taught and what’s practiced.
I subscribe to a lot of blogs and forums in the field I am interested to pursue my career, but I find I have no credibility whatsoever, because I’m not doing the ‘real’ work. The credibility that academic folks impart onto students are often based on academic work, which aren’t always a true reflection of what happens in industry.
Associations, events, blogs, and message boards
I’ve been getting my share of the user-experience (UX) industry goings on through associations, events, blogs and message boards. Even though London is small in comparison to the US UX industry, folks here use the Internet enough to get attention, plan meetups, and share ideas – which are all good to pick up on.
Sadly, though – I feel that not a lot of companies are into making full use of students or interacting with them, apart from getting them to fill up questionaires and showing off how good their brand is, and of course, to attract top talent.
Not all practioners are like that, of course. Associations have student discounts to encourage membership, and their events don’t discriminate between students or practitioners. But students tend to take the backseat – as though we were meant to view things from the sidelines. There’s no PR, no real discourse and interaction, no synergy.
Maybe it gets better over blogs, twitter, and LinkedIn. I have yet to find out.
Reprise
The reason for this post is because I love the brazencareerist community, and I’ve learnt so much from people I haven’t met, I’m encouraged to keep sharing my side of the story – because it is as much as adventure to me as it is to another person reading it. I believe that despite my being in graduate school, my career and life goals are very much alive and kicking – and that’s what this is really all about.
Thanks for reading, and for coming back.
September 10th, 2008 §
I’ve talked about this for months now – my intention to move to London to pursue an MSc in Human-Computer Interaction and explore new opportunities. Now that I’m finally here in the UK, I realize the last few weeks is only the beginning of yet another long and potentially emotional journey.
For those of you who are curious about moving and removing every single item in your home, saying goodbye to all your loved ones, and establishing the necessary arrangements for the move without digging your own grave - I assure you this is all possible… my wife and I have done it in only a matter of weeks.
Possible, but painful.
Uprooting is chaotic
Unforseen circumstances make it most challenging for a first timer. It doesn’t help someone like me who wants everything in place. There are never any guarantees, but you must plan for it anyway. There is a lot of planning and execution needed, and thank God my wife was there to lead in that respect.
If you’re a kind of pie-in-the-sky individual, you need someone who’s good with schedules, numbers, and getting things done. Otherwise, you might end up losing a lot in transition – opportunities, money, relationships, sleep, etc.
Our UK visa was rejected the first time, and we didn’t plan for that. Even now, I am waiting for my UK bank account to be opened. I have no idea when it will. Although we got here in one place, there were news reports of a strike threatening to delay flights in Bangkok, where we were transiting.
Plan well. Execute well. Count your blessings.
Uprooting is costly
A lot of things we didn’t manage to sell to friends and through private sales ended up at the Cash Converters, and we lost about 70% to 80% of our initial investment in a blink of an eye, even after depreciation. An ikea dining plate that cost me RM25 returned only RM2 at the counter. I sold about dozen of them. I had to remind myself that it’s just part of the process.
Despite this, we needed to maintain sufficient funds for fees, and living in the UK. The UK Border Agency demands that, or visas will be rejected. These funds can be so large sometimes, that it takes years to build up. It taught me the virtue of saving, budgeting, and living within my means. It also taught me gratitude, especially to my parents.
Moving will no doubt cost you, so plan for that as well.
Uprooting is emotional
I had to let go of a lot of things. Our beautiful oak dining table I got from Ikea went to my in-laws, and I cringed as I saw it covered by tablecloth with no hint of oak left, save for its feet. Apparently, someone in the family tends to spill a lot, so the table cloth prevents the table from soiling. I just resisted making comment.
I also had to say goodbye to the boardgame nights with my buddies. It won’t ever be the same without them, and I will miss them dearly. I was already letting go of a lot of this in the last few months to ease the transition, but when there’s a void, it needs to be filled.
I bought a London resident’s guide to help me and my wife re-acquaint ourselves with our new home. I got in touch with friends and family living in the UK. I watched TopGear episodes, and downloaded even more. I tried to stop spelling in American English (it’s hard). I told my wife about ‘crisps’, ‘chips’ and ‘fries’. We bought London moleskin journals.
It helped some, but I was careful not to pretend everything was going to be okay just because I could speak and write English well. Even with my uncle who’s lived here for 37 years, I can pick out how little things I say can miscommunicate a lot of things.
Uprooting is necessary
Even despite the challenges we’ve been through, and despite the uncertainty ahead of us, we were happy we stuck to our decision. The paradox of uncertainty vs. just trying for the sake of it is as ironic as the risk that’s involved, but that’s essentially human in a way that it demands to be celebrated.
Each individual is responsible for their own destiny. Focus, clarity, maturity, experience, closure, success – these are some of the things I’ve been aiming for. I believe they’re part of what all of us want, as well.
But in order for me to achieve these things, I felt I had to uproot myself – simply because I was holding on to too many things. I let go of things like job security, some close relationships, resonable comfort, personal belongings, my home country in exchange for growth, opportunity, autonomy, value, and a more focussed career.
It may not be the same for others, but my point is that sacrifices are real in life.
Real, and necessary.
Resources:
August 29th, 2008 §
My wife and I has our UK visas approved a few days ago. Our first application was rejected, due to misunderstanding the application requirements. Although we’re happy that this challenge is over, there are lots more to come. The cost to us was wasted time, and RM1328, and we were really starting to get extremely anxious about our possibilities.
This is a reality of making change happen.
Right now, there’s tons of stuff lying around the house waiting to be sorted into boxes for storage. We’ve got some farewells scheduled for the week ahead, and our tickets paid. I’ve made connections with old friends in London, and asked for tips on employment, and begun applying for jobs for my wife. I don’t like too much to do, but I have to get through it somehow.
Also, unemployment is increasing in the UK, particularly in London. This isn’t good news. So far, none of the jobs we’ve applied for have been positive. But at the same time, we’ve been partly selective as well. There’s lots more room to go. We haven’t used headhunters, applied for temp jobs, or skimped on our salary requirements.
Everytime I’m overwhelmed by all the logistical execution I hate to do, I’m reminded by how comfortable I could be if I didn’t wrestle so much with my career demands. But I know deep inside, I will never have this chance again. Not a chance to succeed, but a chance to try what I felt was the right thing to do at a point in my life.
For others, it could mean getting married, having yet another child, going into the army, or quitting your job.
I have an advantage in that I don’t listen to other people very well. So I throw away a lot of negative comments, and keep the good ones to myself. I also have a wife who’s supportive of my decision. I assume it could be worse.
Here are my navigational compasses that have kept me sane over the last few months:
One Step at a Time
Ellen Macarthur, one of the fastest people to sail around the world, swears on preparing for how much of yourself to expend to work through repeated circumstances of tension again and again over a long period of time. She circumnavigates rough seas, where anything can happen at any time.
My circumstances are hardly a match to hers, but it helps me realize that doing big things isn’t the way to go forward. Big things are only a signal of the destination, and not the journey. What goes into the journey are little things you have to do, most of which are annoying, frustrating, and seemingly unnecessary. But these are things you have to do. I am more prepared now to waste and burn energy than I was a few months ago.
It is absolutely necessary to go through stuff like getting an application form filled up right, spending hours waiting to get my car sold, closing bank accounts, applying for jobs, and so on. It sounds easy but nobody likes to do these things.
Life Stories are Filled with People
One of my strategies in getting ahead in life is in allowing people to “talk” me through phases in life. What I do is get in touch with people who have a specific direction, or are at a certain place in life I want to be. I make an effort to talk to them casually, and usually this is all I ever do, apart from occasional questions for tips and advice. I do this over longer periods, like months or years.
This helps me form real relationships with people who are “there”. Once I’m there, I know I’ll have people I can talk to. It’s like a story, where I meet people at different points in my life, and sometimes we meet again in the future. Each time I recall a part of my life, it’s filled with people and easy to remember. Facebook helps, too.
This is in contrast to making a decision and then making friends where I end up. Sometimes if you take a backseat in life, you end up hanging out with other people who are taking a backseat in life. I just choose not to be there.
Things that can’t be Explained often Stay that Way
I had dinner last night with my paternal uncle, who remarked that this is a part of life we all have to go through, if we really want to get “somewhere” in life. He stopped there, as though it was something the both of us understood. He’s past 50, and I’m close to 30 – and we’ve both had different lives to live.
Sometimes life needs to stay unexplained like that. We stopped talking about what it takes to survive, whether it’s really necessary for me to go back to school, and what if I considered alternatives. We’ve both come to an agreement that we’re looking at life in the eye now. It’s that “thing” that we all have to go through, to achieve our dreams (or whatever it is).
I stopped telling myself reasons why I should or shouldn’t go. I stopped reading too much motivational and practical material. Right now, it’s just learning what I can and making the best of it, in my own way. And a lot of it can’t be explained. You just have to make a decision, and execute, pick up where you fail, and make amends.
“You concentrate on solving your problems or keeping the boat safe or making sure you take the best route through the storm so you don’t get caught in the worst part of it and you just concentrate on coming out the other side,.” – Ellen MacArthur
August 22nd, 2008 §
I just sold two of my cars recently, in preparation to move to the UK. The first car was a Perodua Kelisa, a locally manufactured supermini with a 3-cylinder 1000cc engine that’s simple, affordable, and popular. The second car, a 8-year-old Alfa Romeo 146, is an Italian made sedan that looks like a hatchback, drives like a tourer, sings like a diva, and requires more TLC than your average Toyota. This is a useful case study for passion vs. pop.
The Kelisa was easy to sell, but I didn’t get my way with pricing. There were hundreds of other Kelisas waiting to be picked up. I decided to settle for a quick deal, instead of haggling over price. This was despite knowing that I would be receiving a dozen more calls over the next few days about the car.
The Alfa was different. There were a very unique set of potential buyers. Most of them were Alfa owners previously. To other buyers, I had to explain the car to them, and describe its “Alfa-ness”. The person who ended up buying it was someone who previously owned an Italian car, understood its dynamics, and set his heart on getting one. It was about waiting for the right candidate. I didn’t have to flinch on price very much.
Job searching is very often like this. I want to move from a very common job role as a software programmer to a very niche role as a usability engineer. For me to get a job as a programmer is dead simple, but I probably won’t get my way with salary or benefits. As I set my sights towards becoming a usability engineer, I know that what I’m getting into will only attract certain hiring companies, with work conditions that are suitable for the role. The only issue is preparing myself, and waiting for that opportunity.
Without divulging too much information, that opportunity came knocking on my door recently. And in a place where no one hires usability workers, my profile stuck out a mile high.
My point is this, for everything you’re trying to sell – your employability, your car, your idea… whatever – there’s a market. And there’s a strategy for that sale to take place. You just need to position yourself in the right way, in order to communicate the value of the sale.
The point I didn’t make, however, is when you’re stuck in the Dip – the point between passion and pop, as described by Seth Godin. If you know you’re in the Dip, you have two options – find your way up, or find your way out. The hard part is finding out if you’re in the Dip or not.
While I was attempting to sell both cars, I wasn’t sure if I was in the Dip. I wasn’t quite happy that I quit really soon about the Kelisa. I quit fast and settled for a price I wasn’t that comfortable with. But now I’m glad I did. I wasn’t willing to take the hassle to deal with all the other buyers who were looking for quick wins. It wasn’t going to be worth it. So I quit, and went with the first buyer.
But for the Alfa, I didn’t quit. I held on to my price, because I knew it was a good price, and that someone out there was willing to appreciate the car at that value.
Nobody’s going to remember that I sold the Kelisa for the price I did. But everyone will remember the great deal I got on the sale of the Alfa. I get to keep my story. I managed to navigate both of my dips.
Navigating your own dips are very important to achieving your goals.
How well are you navigating yours?
August 2nd, 2008 §
If you want to get ahead in life, specialize. Don’t generalize.
Take it from me – I’m jack of all trades, master of none.
I do fairly good pencil portraits. I used to freelance doing graphic design. I also used to play in a college rock band, fronting the vocals and rhythm guitars. I founded a college newsletter when I was 18. I’m quite good at resume writing. I absolutely love writing and I maintain 2 blogs. I’m a software engineer by profession, but I also am a certified project manager from PMI. I have experience in more than 2 dozen software languages. Now I’m thinking of building a social network. And writing an e-book. And offering resume writing services. On top of that, I think I’m pretty okay in husband-wife relationships. And in children education. And cars. Oh, and I scuba dive.
I’ve never had a problem thinking about ideas. The problem is getting them to work. There are only a few ideas that have really taken off the floor, and that only happened because the conditions were appropriate. One of them was the college newsletter I founded, Taylor’s College ADP’s “Flipside”. As far as I know, it is still in operation today. By my time with college newsletters is far gone.
Everything else I’ve started hasn’t gone very far. Some are still standing, but getting it to the next level requires real dedication, and I’m too interested in too many things to pursue one thing for a long period of time. A lot of this has led to burn-outs. I’m making a decision today to make the change.
If you’re young, and you want to get ahead in life, generalize enough to get the job done, and spend more time specializing. Choose ONE thing that is close to your heart, and defines you best as a person. It could be something that’s related to your current job, or not. It doesn’t matter. In the course of time, this is that ONE thing that will remain part of you no matter what.
For me, it really has to do with computers. And the Internet. And design. These three things put together are really all I have really cared about in my life, from the very start.
It’s not about service to the world. It’s not about earning big bucks. But it’s something people should know you for, and something you’ll feel confident being associated with, for better or for worse. It’s like marriage, but it’s a profession, not a relationship.
If you’ve already started asking yourself HOW you should be generalizing, don’t worry – it’s really simple.
Just choose not to do anything that’s not related to that ONE thing you want to specialize in.
If you want to specialize in art, forget being an expert chef. If you want to be the world’s best pet enthusiast, forget about being the world’s best accountant.
I’m not trying to dumb down your strengths. I’m sure, with the proper dedication and time, you’ll get to be all that you can be. But there’s not enough time in the world to do everything.
My aunt used to say, “anything, but not everything”. And she’s right. You’ve got the passion, but you don’t have time.
Don’t get sidetracked. You have only one life. Choose the right battles. Make the memories count.
Don’t waste it by diluting the experience with too many things.
Resources:
July 29th, 2008 §
Today’s career is full of anomalies and subject to one’s own definition of a right set of choices. Compound that with the gap between social media and have-nots, it’s no wonder there’s so much lost in transition.
I would admit it feels really frustrating to be in the Dip.
So here’s the thing about mentoring. I’ve read a lot about how necessary they are. And to be honest, I’m not sure if I have one. Which means I’ve pulled myself ahead just this far, with just enough help from some people.
Only two or three people come to mind. The first is Jian, my ex-colleague and then team leader for a project that sent me to Bangkok for three weeks. We got along very well and we’re still close friends to today.
Every major decision I made in my career went through Jian, who’s a little more senior than me. He provided advice where necessary and listened when I talked. I felt that having someone who listens helps a lot. Not many people will give you time like that.
The other person is my cell pastor, Koon Hee. He provided me a lot of support and insight into the necessary things in life – marriage, finances, goals, promotions, etc. He didn’t have to understand the work I was doing. This is why career advice applies to almost any kind of job.
His advice was a lot more important than what bosses will talk to you about – the finer things in life. Careers are a reflection of a person’s life, and that life is filled with other things that make it complete. This is why joining a good church helps.
The last person is Charles, an ex-colleague who shares similar values, and strangely, we discovered each other while blogging. I found out that he’s been so much ahead of the game than I have, and yet… the issues we’re both working through still remain the same. Finances, relationships, careers, goals, etc. Of course, he has a lot more “war stories” than I have, and that’s what I admire in him – he walks the talk.
Authenticity is a hard game to play, and nobody plays to win. It’s about achieving dreams, and the stories we gain from it. It’s so hard that only a select few play it, but those who do live very interesting lives that are second to none.
Charles is that sort of person. He’s not a pop star. He’s not on the front page news. He’s not a multi-billion dollar CEO. But he’s bigger than life, to me at least, and I can speak to him any time of the day. That’s real, and precious, in a way.
Good mentors aren’t bought. They’re found. Relationships like these need investment, as they’re real people. As real as you are. In order to find them, you have to communicate yourself as a brand. In fact, you won’t need so much to find them, as they’ll find you. All you have to do is to continue pushing the boundaries of life, and making yourself available to people. You’ll never know who might find you something worthy of an investment.
Resources:
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July 27th, 2008 §
I will be moving to London with my wife next month. I have decided to go back to school and pursue a Masters in Human-Computer Interaction at UCL, as I’m interested in making web applications and other computery things more usable. But this is about more than just that.
This is about me trying to find a place where I’m really satisfied. Satisfied about my life, about my work, about where I am, about my responsibilities, about the future, and about the things I do.
I’m not happy where I am right now. And I’m not quite sure how to solve my problem. The worst part is, nobody else can. All I knew was that I had to do something about it, and so I made a decision, back in March.
I suppose this feeling of loss is normal, otherwise there wouldn’t be a need for career counseling. But I also think career counseling is 90% motivation. So what I’ve really been struggling with isn’t about careers, but believing hard about what I want in life.
The first thing I told myself was that people are wrong. They’re wrong about career choices. They’re wrong about how to make money. They’re wrong about how to stay happy. They’re wrong about everything.
I did that just to prove to myself that nobody could give me advice worth acting upon. I heard things like, “anywhere is better than here”, “I’m sure you’ll get it”, “I’m sure you’ll make it”, “make sure you consider everything”.
Those things I felt was good advice, I put into practice. The rest, I threw away.
I couldn’t deal with all the details at once. Some people make the transition so complex that most don’t dare to try. So I threw it all out of the window.
Have I started packing? No.
Have I submitted all my visa forms? No.
Have I got accomodation all prepared? Only for the initial months.
Has my wife got a job yet? No.
When are you flying off? In about a month.
Sounds crazy? Maybe it is.
If you’re faced with a similar situation, it would likely look a lot different. And that’s the point – everyone has their own way of doing things. There are limitations, processes, rules that apply, but by-and-large some people get around it, find their own ways, or do what they need to do to get the job done.
I don’t have guarantees. But nobody else does either. I just take take a deep breath and choose my battles wisely.
A month ago, I had mood swings and bouts of depression. I felt I was a walking contradiction.
I worried that applying to a top 10 school in the UK would be almost impossible, and my CGPA didn’t meet their requirements. That led to some delays, a phone interview, and my undergrad professor having to write a comprehensive report on me.
Still, I didn’t want to apply to other universities that were less stringent. I really wanted to get into UCL. When I finally got accepted, I was thankful, but not ecstatic. There’s more to come, I thought to myself.
I feel that I’m betting my whole life to do this. And in a way, I feel this is only way it can be done. I don’t know if I’ll end up completely burned out with nothing left but the resignation that dreams only exist in books.
But that’s what people fear. And people are wrong.
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