I’ve talked about this for months now – my intention to move to London to pursue an MSc in Human-Computer Interaction and explore new opportunities. Now that I’m finally here in the UK, I realize the last few weeks is only the beginning of yet another long and potentially emotional journey.
For those of you who are curious about moving and removing every single item in your home, saying goodbye to all your loved ones, and establishing the necessary arrangements for the move without digging your own grave - I assure you this is all possible… my wife and I have done it in only a matter of weeks.
Possible, but painful.
Uprooting is chaotic
Unforseen circumstances make it most challenging for a first timer. It doesn’t help someone like me who wants everything in place. There are never any guarantees, but you must plan for it anyway. There is a lot of planning and execution needed, and thank God my wife was there to lead in that respect.
If you’re a kind of pie-in-the-sky individual, you need someone who’s good with schedules, numbers, and getting things done. Otherwise, you might end up losing a lot in transition – opportunities, money, relationships, sleep, etc.
Our UK visa was rejected the first time, and we didn’t plan for that. Even now, I am waiting for my UK bank account to be opened. I have no idea when it will. Although we got here in one place, there were news reports of a strike threatening to delay flights in Bangkok, where we were transiting.
Plan well. Execute well. Count your blessings.
Uprooting is costly
A lot of things we didn’t manage to sell to friends and through private sales ended up at the Cash Converters, and we lost about 70% to 80% of our initial investment in a blink of an eye, even after depreciation. An ikea dining plate that cost me RM25 returned only RM2 at the counter. I sold about dozen of them. I had to remind myself that it’s just part of the process.
Despite this, we needed to maintain sufficient funds for fees, and living in the UK. The UK Border Agency demands that, or visas will be rejected. These funds can be so large sometimes, that it takes years to build up. It taught me the virtue of saving, budgeting, and living within my means. It also taught me gratitude, especially to my parents.
Moving will no doubt cost you, so plan for that as well.
Uprooting is emotional
I had to let go of a lot of things. Our beautiful oak dining table I got from Ikea went to my in-laws, and I cringed as I saw it covered by tablecloth with no hint of oak left, save for its feet. Apparently, someone in the family tends to spill a lot, so the table cloth prevents the table from soiling. I just resisted making comment.
I also had to say goodbye to the boardgame nights with my buddies. It won’t ever be the same without them, and I will miss them dearly. I was already letting go of a lot of this in the last few months to ease the transition, but when there’s a void, it needs to be filled.
I bought a London resident’s guide to help me and my wife re-acquaint ourselves with our new home. I got in touch with friends and family living in the UK. I watched TopGear episodes, and downloaded even more. I tried to stop spelling in American English (it’s hard). I told my wife about ‘crisps’, ‘chips’ and ‘fries’. We bought London moleskin journals.
It helped some, but I was careful not to pretend everything was going to be okay just because I could speak and write English well. Even with my uncle who’s lived here for 37 years, I can pick out how little things I say can miscommunicate a lot of things.
Uprooting is necessary
Even despite the challenges we’ve been through, and despite the uncertainty ahead of us, we were happy we stuck to our decision. The paradox of uncertainty vs. just trying for the sake of it is as ironic as the risk that’s involved, but that’s essentially human in a way that it demands to be celebrated.
Each individual is responsible for their own destiny. Focus, clarity, maturity, experience, closure, success – these are some of the things I’ve been aiming for. I believe they’re part of what all of us want, as well.
But in order for me to achieve these things, I felt I had to uproot myself – simply because I was holding on to too many things. I let go of things like job security, some close relationships, resonable comfort, personal belongings, my home country in exchange for growth, opportunity, autonomy, value, and a more focussed career.
It may not be the same for others, but my point is that sacrifices are real in life.
Real, and necessary.
Resources:
- Money & Homes: The pain of uprooting
- Will This Place Ever Feel Like Home?
- How to Adjust to Moving to a New Place
- London
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It is great that you dare to make the changes and follow your dream and your heart.
I wish you all the best.