June 30th, 2008 §
Most people don’t blog – they don’t have any real reason to. But most people can discover the benefits of blogging, and some even want to try. The problem with starting isn’t about being technical. You don’t have to be a techie to start blogging – otherwise generation MySpace wouldn’t have happened.
People have all sorts of reasons for not starting a blog, but I mostly feel that people are trapped in a consumption culture, and don’t bother to try. Bloggers tend to be production-inclined. We believe that the stuff we blog about needs to be:
- archived
- shared
- discussed
It’s not as though blogs appeared on the scene and that it was absolutely the best thing since sliced bread. People who started blogs already had specific traits on which to build on, but were open enough to adapt with and sustain the emerging blog culture – whatever that may be (it keeps changing).
They could be anyone – visionaries who thought deep about specific topics, a socialite wanting to publish their whereabouts, a mother reflecting vicariously about childhood, or any regular Joe.
But to blog is to learn, give, and adapt.
If that’s what you’re after, then you’ve pretty much covered the basics of blogging. The rest are just details. And that’s what most blog how-to articles focus on, and there are tons of them. Articles on how to set up your blog, how to make it pretty, what topics to discuss, what style to write in, and on and on and on.
Blogging is an extension of yourself. It’s not the whole you, but just a part. It’s a part of you that you give to others – which is actually the permission to allow people play around with, talk about, and share your thoughts.
Therefore, you need to decide which part of you to share with the rest of the world. I feel this part is important, but I think everyone gets this. Whether or not these things are appropriate to share is subjective. Sometimes it’s worth just trying it out, while keeping certain things under wraps – like your identity, location, and so on. This is what creates the blog’s identity.
The difficult part about blogging is in managing this identity.
It sounds silly at first – why would anyone care about managing a blog’s identity? It matters when you realize that the blog is a part of you. It’s like shaving or dressing up.
One good way is to maintain seperate blogs that have separate identities. Another way is by keeping specific posts private. Yet another way is to use categories. Blog templates and themes can assist in some aspects. There are many ways to communicate a cohesive blog identity.
A lot of people get blogging wrong because they don’t realize that blogging isn’t like writing a book. It’s like a public journal, and bloggers can make mistakes, but good bloggers learn from their mistakes and publish them out and communicate their lessons with their readers. You’re not supposed to be perfect before you can start a blog. In fact, being imperfect is one real reason why you should.
But most people don’t want to look stupid, so they would rather avoid it. Bloggers, instead, find healing and connection with seemingly anonymous audiences that it drives them to write better and give more. It’s kind of a “good world”-”bad world” perspective. But it’s a perspective worth exploring.
The good thing is that you can start small, and find your way around until you reach a comfortable spot.
I started off writing personal thoughts and reflections, and my readers were mostly friends. I began to realize a lot of things I wanted to say were meant for a larger audience, and I created new blogs for that. I began to talk to other bloggers about the things they said. Some responded. Some were trolls. I killed off some older blogs, and kept some regularly updated. But the more I blogged, the more I realized that blogging is really about adapting socially. The benefits of blogging are due to its social nature.
If you’re not sure how to start a blog, start with asking yourself the question – why? It gets a lot easier after that.
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June 29th, 2008 §
I just got back from a family vacation. And not just any family vacation, but an extended family vacation – where my uncles and aunts and cousins are all in.
I think that in the West, this might seem like a relational nightmare. This is the equivalent of big family Thanksgiving dinner three days in a row. But somehow, it sort of works out in the East. At least, that’s how it has been for many families here.
Culture has a big part to play. Everyone knows the rules. Some fit in really well. Some just stay by the sidelines. Some are there to make sure everyone gets along. In a social game where there are different players, everyone needs to know the rules. Anyone who doesn’t seem to fit in won’t get included, or force may be applied.
I feel it’s the same in any social setting. Take for example corporate culture. There’s obvious work to be done. There are departments that seem to take on certain forms, which helps us decide how employees relate to them. There are managers, who each have their own personalities. Communicating well with them requires specific skills and opportunities.
Culture is hard to change, and most people learn to adjust and get along instead of rocking the boat. But the good news is that they get to go home at the end of the day.
If I had a choice, there would be certain things I would change about culture, but that would be to suit my selfish needs. Learning to adapt is an entirely different thing altogether, and a more appropriate skill to have, especially when things need to change.
The three options I give myself involve self-initiated productivity, communication and exiting.
Self-initiated productivity is the most active thing I can do as an individual that is healthy and doesn’t require a lot of convincing or persuading. In a way, it’s about doing the work you think needs to get done in your own way, and making sure it fits into the business. It can shape the way you perceive a business, and the way a company perceives you and the work.
Communication is about expressing my opinions, that may or may not change the way people think or work. It’s often subtle, but necessary. Communication is about expressing how the work I do impacts the business, and how effective I see this work plays a part in everything. Sometimes communication is all it takes to shape a healthy culture. Sometimes, it does nothing. But it’s necessary, so that people are aware to make the appropriate decisions.
Finally, exiting happens when there’s no room left to grow, or that the direction you want to move to is going against the grain, or that it may just be time to let someone else take your spot. Whatever the reason, people come and go all the time in the corporate world. But it’s often beneficial for exits to take place, even though it may sound like a sad ending in a story. Exits can shape cultures too. People learn to adapt.
My experience this time round with my family hasn’t changed much over the last few decades. Unlike companies, this particular group of people will never change. The players won’t leave, the rules won’t change, but we’ll all have different stories growing up and that’s just how things will be. The only difference is that there’s a longer time-out, instead of the day’s end where people pack up and go home.
It’s during this long time-out that we go back to playing the game of life, in ways we think it ought to be played, according to our own rules.
June 21st, 2008 §
Some people really have a hard time finding out what they really should be doing as an adult. I think that anyone having this problem are looking at other adults too much. They should be looking at their past instead.
Children aren’t shy about having fun. And I know that what we enjoy doing as adults are simply extensions of things we used to do as children.
My job as a software engineer cum web developer cum innovator stems from my childhood hobbies playing Lego and drawing portraits and doing all sorts of other ‘building’ stuff. I also spent my teens collecting comics, which I used to build my figure sketching skills. I was never into sports, but I feel that sports is a great way to learn about strategy, which is useful for stuff like finance, management, and innovation.
Playing with dolls may mean you enjoy storytelling, or being part of a hospitality service, or traveling. Reading may mean you enjoy research and learning, and being able to function as a team player.
One question a career counselor asked my wife when she went in for a session was ‘what did you enjoy when you were a child?’. Most likely, the things you did when you were a child were already preparing you for something you would be doing as an adult.
I posed this question to my youth session yesterday as well. Not all of them responded to the various interests. Some enjoyed traveling while some didn’t. Almost all of them played computers, but I’m guessing what they play may differ as well. Some enjoy sports. Some don’t like cartoons but enjoy watching animal planet. These were children aged 9 onward. They were specific and vocal – they could express what their interests were at a very young age.
I told them that when they become an adult, the toys don’t go away – they get bigger. So the trick is in deciding which toys to play, because there’s never enough time to play all of them (or enough money).
The reason why I love web development is because I like building things. I like art as well, and graphic design, although my background is in engineering. I like ideas – and good sites build on good ideas. I also love writing, and the web really needs a lot of that. In fact, writing was one of the things I used to do growing up.
In the book, The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell described a phenomenon about how Sesame Street became such a huge success. In that research, scientists realized that children watched TV very differently than adults do – in that they watch for learning’s sake (in terms of context), instead of pure entertainment. Their attention span only maintains when there are things on TV that they are attempting to gain knowledge from. This may be why one of the boys said he didn’t enjoy cartoons, when quizzed yesterday.
Don’t abandon your childhood for your adulthood. Bridge it together in one seamless story. Penelope Trunk’s advice is to do what you are – and I feel everyone ought to already know that growing up.
June 19th, 2008 §
I got my increment letter today, and at the rate I’m going, I’ll only be hitting RM100k annual salary in 6 years’ time. That’s not too bad. I’ll be able to afford a Toyota Vios by then, feed 2 children, and own my own house. Live the Malaysian dream.
Knowing what others earn is about having control over your life
I was talking to a friend of mine about salaries. We all rate salaries very differently, because we all have different friends. Our friends are sometimes our only lens into the corporate world, that’s layered with bureaucracy, hierarchy, and politics and a whole lot of other stuff we can’t quite make out.
The problem with that is that all of us are in the trees. Which is why I felt it was good to post up that interview with a recruitment agent. At least everyone can take a look at a snapshot of what people are earning nowadays.
So, everyone should just go to http://www.glassdoor.com right now, sign up, post your salaries, and give your employers a piece of your mind, because it’s all anonymous anyway. No one will ever know it was you. I told my friend that I signed up for glassdoor and put in my salary and company feedback, and even though I was the only person in my company in the whole world to do that, he couldn’t find out anything about me there.
So, trust me, it’s good for the whole world that everyone knows what everyone is earning. It’s mitigated anarchy. It’s good because you’ll know where you stand, the faster the better, because you’ll be able to make a decision about where you stand, and about what to do with your life. Yes, it’s good that you have control over your life.
The corporate ladder isn’t linear all the time
Contrary to popular belief, learning what the other guy earns isn’t about getting better up the ladder. The reason is because at the end of the day, everyone is accountable to themselves whether this is right for them or not. Not everyone wants to become a CEO. Not everyone wants to suck up to the boss and earn big bucks. Not everyone wants to be a stunt driver.
But what everyone wants is FAIRNESS. And fairness is a very hard thing to measure. But as a start, for things to be fair, it has to be open. So, at least, knowing what the other guy earns solves a bit of that. Because it’s not the salary amount that really matters, it’s knowing that really matters. Because knowing helps you make a decision about your life.
Companies don’t want you to know how much everyone is earning
Now, I was actually lying that it’s good for everyone knows what everyone earns.
Companies actually can lose out in situations like these, because a lot of companies can leverage on a lot of things if it does – FUD, the law (yes sometimes it can protect businesses as much as it can protect employees), politics, corporate hierarchy… anything it can leverage on, it will.
Why? Because it’s easy. Because it’s doable. Because companies get away with it all the time.
It’s harder for one person to gain so much knowledge about careers in a short period of time, than it is for a company to hire a CEO, a HR senior, or someone to draw up policies or establish a culture that will help the company to grow and protect itself against employees that might hurt it.
It’s ultimately the employees’ responsibility to find out how much people are earning, how much the industry is paying, and make a decision about what to do with their lives. It’s not a company’s responsibility to live that life for you.
Please watch out for yourself
I feel that the people who will get hit the hardest are good young people who want to change the world, and are so sick of capitalism that they expend themselves to the point that they suffer a burnout. Please watch out, because it’s your responsibility to. A company isn’t a way to shelter yourself away from the problems of the world.
If you’re stuck, don’t worry. The world is bigger than you think. There are ways to salvage a broken life, and there are people who are willing to help. You can talk to your boss, even though you’re scared or if your boss doesn’t want to listen, there are other people you can talk to. If you’re down and you’re just starting to get up, realize that life will look different from this point on… and get going. It’ll work out okay in the end.
Resources:
June 16th, 2008 §
The Malaysian IT workforce is facing a lot of problems now than it used to. No doubt, there are tons of jobs available, but for low-scale jobs like software development and tech support. The types of jobs available now hasn’t changed much over the last few years, and I doubt it will look any different over the next 5.
The reason is because IT in Malaysia is still fairly new, and hasn’t gained widespread adoption. At the same time, India and China are really big markets now, because of innovation and a vibrant mix of local and foreign players.
Our IT graduates are focussed mainly on development, not research. We’re way behind in terms of software – mainly because there’s too much emphasis on theory, instead of customers. My base observation is that companies typically use sales and project management staff to deal with customers, so a lot of programmers have zero to little idea of how to develop customer-centric software.
Anyway, I digress. If you’re in Malaysia and you’re doing software development, it is unlikely that your salary will hit RM7k for 6 years’ worth of slavery. This is true whether or not you’re a good programmer. (If you’re the exception, you can thank your lucky stars)
If you’re a project manager, 6 years’ worth of slavery might earn you RM6k and above. But then, I assume the work to be firefighting, especially when your software developers are paid peanuts.
Software developers are like the bottom of the food chain. There’s no glamour, no glory – and it’s crowded.
Just so you don’t think I’m crazy, I’m posting my interview with a recruitment agent from an established Malaysian recruitment company (ok, they *used* to advertise on the rear end of taxis/cabs). Her job involves hiring local IT grads for Malaysian companies, and she’s been doing that for the past 3 years.
————————————–
LW: What’s the average starting pay for a IT fresh grad now?
Agent: Average start is around RM1700-1800. But you do have candidates who are good, getting upto Rm2-3K for a Fresh Grad role as well… but that’s the highest and rare statistic
LW: rare as in …. 5%?
Agent: yup maybe around there… maybe even less
LW: what about [people with] 2 years experience?
Agent: Average IT person would be [earning] around RM2500? Rm2500-Rm3000 depending.
LW: what are the exceptions? RM4k?
Agent: possibly yes, but usually with 2 years, it shld be around Rm3500. [It] can go up to Rm2.5 – RM3.5k.
LW: okay, [what about] 4 years?
Agent: depends what area they are in. What area of IT. 4 years in the SAME Line without switching (e.g. programming for 4 yrs) would be around RM4K-6K, usually 6K on the high side… that’s for people who’ve moved into project management. So around Rm4-5k. Yeah, around Rm4-5K+ odd
LW: 6 years?
Agent: 6 years – you must ask me in what line. 6 years programming? 6 yrs in system support? A bit too general of a question. 6 years… in all technical? Or 6 years with some managerial experience?
LW: 6 yrs software development
Agent: all software development – about… Rm5-6++ as a programmer…. I’d say around Rm5k++, Rm6K onwards would be for a Project Manager etc.
LW: how much does a software developer earn in India, typically?
Agent: Don’t know about that. Don’t know Indian rates.
LW: If you had children, would you encourage them to do IT? [ed: Sorry, I had to do this. :P ]
Agent: Yes if that’s their passion.. but they’d really have to be different from the rest of the people out there… because there are too many people with IT degrees… the ones are gonna make it are the ones who can stand out in terms of skills, competence, and their ability to think differently, and that includes championing good ideas and having the initiative.
LW: Has the IT job outlook improved over the years, or declined?
Agent: Outlook for employers or employees?
LW: Both.
Agent: hmm, for employers, it’s declined a little… It’s getting harder to find the right people nowadays with a good fit in terms of the technical skills and the soft skills desired. Not enough good people in the market, and attracting them to the organization is also another challenge as employees are getting smarter and more demanding.
LW: So, it’s looking better for employees now, than in the past?
Agent: I think there’s a disparity between what people want out of their careers in IT and what companies here can give them. And as a result of this, people become mercenaries for the higher paying job. The roles of companies for IT in general, aren’t exactly very mind-blowing, even for managerial positions…
So while companies are trying to ’sell’ the organization and the job, trying to attract job seekers… it’s not really working so well because the average job seeker actually wants more than just a support role… or more than just an implementor role
LW: So what do employees really want out of the job these days? If it’s more than support and implementation?
Agent: aside from more money for rising living costs… i’m not really sure, but i think it’s got to do with a whole new level of a job per se… more interesting projects, not the run-of-the-mill support roles, or an outsourcing center…. maybe new projects involving innovation from scratch.. that’s designed/planned for here… something that people feel a sense of belonging.
The roles/projects we have here are implementation… people don’t identify with that.They never created the work…. they have no sense of belonging… and when that happens, you take less pride in what you do.
Hence you move around jobs quicker, if that makes sense.
LW: It makes a lot of sense. Do you forsee this scenario to change over the next few years? Malaysia is right in the middle of cheap-software-dev talent pool.
Agent: No, not in the next few years. Maybe in 10 years?
LW: That’s a long time, considering that software moves so fast.
Agent: Haha, there isn’t much sign of change happening for the big companies. No sign of creation of projects by Malaysians, written by Malaysians… Don’t know if it’s because Malaysians have yet to initiate such efforts in the first place, or is it a result of a lack of opportunities to display their abilities. Chicken or egg situation.
LW: Thanks for your time. If you had one advice for local IT grads out there, what would it be?
Agent: My advice would be to strive to be different – in terms of ideas, work approach….and to ensure they get solid technical experience to back them up.
LW: Sounds good. Thanks again!
[Interview date: Monday, June 16, 2008, 1pm]
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June 11th, 2008 §
It’s hard to tell apart things that matter versus things that don’t while sitting in our comfort zones. Anything can seem unreal, almost too manageable. Corporate pressures may be shrugged off after project endings, while some jobs don’t require much continuity or responsibility. At the end of the day, a job is a job – you’ll get the same paycheck you got last month. Move to another job if you don’t like the one you’re at now…
Unless, of course, you’re a freelancer.
I recently found Freelanceswitch.com, a blog about freelancing, that reminded me how much I hated the bad parts about freelancing, and how people still do it because it really puts you in control. I don’t often subscribe to RSS feeds on the first impression, but this one was a keeper. You don’t even have to be freelancing to realize how valuable the articles are. And the reason is simple – freelancing takes so much out of you that it forces you to be good in pretty much everything.
There are tons of freelancing roles out there – copywriters, designers, artists, software developers – all vying for a piece of the pie. I’ve done at least one or two types of these jobs, and I’ve had good and bad experiences about them.
The good part is that you get paid, sometimes, for things that takes you an hour to do, and a few minutes to talk. The bad part is that you’re never really in control of what you’ll get. And so, in order to get a grip on life, most freelancers have to stick to their guns and keep going at it again and again, upon the waves of uncertainty.
This basically creates a sort of accelerated view of potentially your entire career, which forces you to pick up skills you would otherwise avoid in a typical job. These skills can be extremely valuable, like managing projects, budgeting, selling, public relations, and so on. At the same time, you have absolute freedom in investing in any skill you want, and fine tune it for your own purposes.
I believe some freelancers see corporate jobs like a cop out – the idea of constantly working with people excel at a few things and talk about it like they own the world. Freelancing is humbling, and for a good reason – it takes a lot out of you. But the benefits can be extremely rewarding in the long run, if you can weather the storm.
Anyway, just to show you what I mean, here’s a snippet from Freelanceswitch:
Launching a freelance business is no easy feat—regardless of whether you’re looking to go full-time or part-time. And if you’re trying to build the business while holding down a regular job or taking care of the kids, you have it harder than most.
There are only so many hours in a day! You can’t expect to do it all. And if you try, you’ll burn out sooner or later.
The secret lies in outsourcing tasks you’re not fond of, especially if someone else can do them for less.
source: link
Here’s another great post referenced from the same site: link – great advice for anyone, freelancer or otherwise.
June 9th, 2008 §
After graduating with my BSc in Computer Engineering, I took my 10 month experience as an undergraduate research assistant in Java to a local telecoms solutions provider. I looked my interviewer in the eye, and told her not to look at me as a fresh grad.
I don’t know if I got the job on that basis, but I did – so they put me on stretchers for the first few weeks, and got me hacking at a poorly written Java re-write of an equally poorly written ASP web application. I fumed at the mess, which led me to stuff like Apache Struts and n-tier architecture, MVC and all that stuff.
My boss decided then to throw me into the deep end of the pool and send me to Singapore to build a webapp on my own, with only the interface requirements provided. Fine, I thought. Let’s do it in ASP.NET (never touched it in my life).
I bought a book from Microsoft Press, sat down and implemented the first MVC app the company had ever produced without even knowing it. Plus, I never had a complaint from the client, either. So it was either really bad or really good.
Like all budding Malaysian engineers, I waited out to see if the company would reward me. I got a measly RM200 on my confirmation, and a subsequent increase of RM80 and RM100 during the yearly probation cycles. And to think that they pay the sales guys so much more than the engineers, no wonder this country is not going anywhere.
Maybe I’m wrong to think that companies should reward their pioneers. But they don’t. Most companies pay for employees to kowtow, because at the end of the day it’s the management who calls the shots. Here are some examples of kowtowism:
Overtime – a great way to show that you’re working your butt off, because the boss comes into the office at 12am too. Who cares if you’re not making real progress? Seat warming is where it counts.
Seniority – “I have 10 years of software experience and you don’t.” Get real.
Complicated code – Solve a problem fast by using tutorials and cut and paste. Easy.
Tunnel Vision - “yes I’ve fixed that problem”. But you’ve caused a few dozen more in the process.
Certifications and new programming languages – .NET exploded on the scene at the time. Anyone doing C# was worshiped at my office. I couldn’t care less.
At the end of the day, no matter how much I’ll rant, it doesn’t make a difference. Companies have already decided beforehand how much salary they will pay software engineers. There’s not a big difference in the scale vs. skill. This is what makes it so unnerving. Even more so are companies who are using software to make money.
But I regress. Software engineers need more than programming skills to survive. There’s no point in complaining otherwise.
June 9th, 2008 §
I was manning a demo booth for my job at an exhibition the last three days, and had good opportunities to talk to all sorts of different people there. I was basically selling, even though there wasn’t a price tag involved. This made it a bit tricky to present, because most people assume you’re selling something with a price.
Selling without a price helped me a lot. I forced me to understand what the audience wanted, instead of assuming right off the bat. I also had the freedom to explain what we were actually promoting, instead of focusing on demo features.
Engaging the audience
Public speaking is not like regular talk. At different points in the presentation, I had to ask my audience what industry they were in, their experiences related to the demo, more or less trying to tease out who they were and why they were at my booth. I did that by making a guess, and by asking generic questions like “what industry are you based in?”. I also made it a point to introduce myself and what the booth was all about. Like I said, most people expect a point of sale, but I had to clarify it wasn’t.
Comfort zones
To me, public speaking isn’t really about coming out of a comfort zone as it is trying to find a new one. You see, once you get the hang of speaking to a stranger, you can speak to ANY stranger. Because strangers will start to look pretty much alike. Sure, it hurts to look stupid when you fumble over lines and such. Maybe you can do what I did – do away with lines altogether. Ask real questions, like, what does the audience want? Who am I to the audience? Stuff that you usually don’t ask yourself, because it’s too common sense.
Surprise yourself
There’s no way you can guarantee a sale. You can only find out who’s interested in what you’re talking about. Which is why people are prepared to pay the cost of a sale, which is the cost of doing the talking. You never know when you’ll make a connection until you start talking.
I surprised myself when people I thought had absolutely no reason for being at the booth signed up for more information about our program. They would not have signed up if I had not explained to them the gist of what the booth was about. And even though I didn’t walk them through the demo, they signed up anyway.
Screw the process
This totally screwed up the “process”, which was to draw in the crowd using the demos, then convince them to sign up for more information. When I explained the idea to them, who I was as a presenter, and asked them about their background, I had a far better response than trying to tease them in with fancy features. Of course, the demos were necessary, it created the perfect backdrop to the conversation. But it’s never the centerpiece of the show. The presenter controls the show, and the audience navigates through the messages.
Don’t lose the plot
It’s always okay to “just present the demo”, and not explain the purpose behind the show. People will sit and listen for entertainment’s sake. They’ll let you finish your sentence. They’ll be nice. But you’ll lose the plot. You’ll go back, asking yourself, what in the world was that all about, and so will your audience. The audiences’ response may not match up to expectations, but don’t ever lose the plot.
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June 2nd, 2008 §
This isn’t a unhappy husband post. Far from it. It’s honest advice about marriage, and an indifferent response I got from a friend of mine suggested that most people think counseling are for screw-ups and losers (and Christians – I know this is a derogatory term to some).
They’re not.
Marriage counseling is like psychographic and psychometric tests that everyone seems to get so addicted about. It can be really fun and really serious at the same time. It can be really sexy because it allows the couple to have an honest look at each other and be open about themselves for once.
There are many types of pre-marital counseling, and I have no idea what they’re all like. In my session, we both went through the Taylor Johnson psychometric tests. I was already familiar with my Myers-Briggs type, and I was keen on understanding my wife’s profile. Understanding my partner is really sexy and it’s great to talk about our differences and similarities over and over again. It’s one of those things my wife and I talk about a lot.
Of course, if one or both parties had lots of things to hide, that might be the end of the relationship altogether – but better earlier than never. That doesn’t mean you have to reveal everything to each other, but sometimes sneaky things happen – like learning she never really wanted to have children in the first place… stuff like that.
We did discuss 5-year and 10-year plans about our potential marriage. We even discussed careers, family, finances, friends, and the lot. Having a 3rd party there (our cell pastor) really helped. It doesn’t always have to be someone elder/wiser who knows you. It could be a certified counselor, and I know folks who make a living doing that and they’re really good at it.
We talked about how I wanted a fulfilling career, and that we both sort of wanted children in 5 years, and that I might want to further my education. We also discussed my propensity to be glued to the computer, and her inability to determine a goal in life. We discussed our parents, and how both families might get along. We discussed money. We discussed having a place of our own.
It’s funny, but these are issues we’re still discussing today, so I’m glad we started then!
This is our 3rd year of marriage, and we’ve been through good and bad times – but I think having the sessions really helped a bunch. It helped cement our ideals in one place, and everything else has been about going back to that and being honest with ourselves.
Those few short sessions helped shape everything – careers, relationships, aspirations, health. You’ll need it when you get there.
Resources:
June 2nd, 2008 §
I was fortunate enough that my dad took us on trips abroad and other excursions. He would always make my sister and I write our experiences down, in 1000, 2000 and 3000 words (it got bigger as we grew older).
The writing habit
We would get a F4 pad, and start doodling everything we could remember, and add sketches and stuff. At first, it was just writing down our thoughts – little details we could remember about the trip. I would remember as a kid, I would start off like how children’s stories go – a brief introduction about where we went, and the juicy details in between, ending off with a nice summary about going back again (or not).
It helped me appreciate the habit of writing, and everything on paper pretty much stays the way it is – it’s like a photograph, a snapshot of your mind at that point in time.
Conversations with myself
I kept a journal in high school, and I wrote about all kinds of stuff. At the time, I was writing out my thoughts and feelings, and that helped me to develop a conversational style. I wrote more than I read.
Conversations with others
I stopped writing when I went to college, but I did write a lot of emails to my then-girlfriend over long distances. I don’t know if that counts, but I think that helped me understand a part of writing for relationship’s sake. It was hard to manage the relationship over so many thousand miles (we were at opposite ends of the world), and emails and phone calls helped. She didn’t seem to like IMs very much.
Critical thinking
I did appreciate English 102 and Lit for the formal ways of crafting a position in an argument, rebuttals and the critical thinking behind it. But I learnt most from reading excellent journalistic material during the last 7 years of my working life – from technical tutorials, gadget reviews, news reports – especially when I was looking hard for specific answers. I even learnt from forums. I also learnt from writing technical documents like requirements specifications, how-tos, user manuals, and the like.
Blogs
I started blogging in 2004, continuing where I left off in my journals. I wrote about all sorts of things, and avoided serious stuff for the most part. I only really started writing critically when I asked my boss if it would be good to have a blog about innovation and the stuff we’re doing in the office. When he let me, I started the innovation blog.
So, that’s when I started writing commentaries and opinions based on stuff I was reading around innovation topics, Web 2.0, and career articles from Penelope Trunk. No one read the innovation blog, so I let it die a natural death, and kickstarted leapwalking.
Writing forces me to think critically. It helps put things in the right perspective, especially when I’m confused or depressed and have no one to talk to. I’m glad that I have an avenue here with the blog, and I think most blogs are a lot like that.